Welcome to Read Before Burning, a monthly newsletter by Dr Ben J. Searle. Come here for simple but informative coverage of burnout-related concepts, research findings, and actionable advice – all firmly grounded in science.
Who am I? After earning a PhD in psychology, I spent 20 years in academia studying stress, burnout, and related issues – until I burned out. I now write, consult, and talk about burnout, psychosocial hazard management, and development of psychological measures for use in organisations.
Burnout and Shame
One of the most powerful, most prolonged, and most painful experiences associated with burning out isn’t a “symptom” in the classic sense. But it’s so common amongst people who burn out that it could easily be mistaken for one.
This month’s feature is about shame. I unpack why shame is such a common reaction to burning out, why this matters, and what we can do about it.
[Content warning: article features painful reasons that may drive feelings of shame as well as consequences of shame including self-harm]
Why Feel Ashamed?
Shame is the uncomfortable, self-conscious feeling of being outside the bounds of a valued group’s standards of acceptable behaviour. Unlike guilt, which we feel when we’ve fallen short of our own standards, shame involves our sense of how we are (or would be) judged by others.
To explain why many people who burn out feel ashamed, I need to break a social taboo and using the oft-avoided F— word: failure.
Failure is an inevitable part of the human condition. The only way to avoid failure is to never try. Failure can be valuable — it is a powerful teacher. Patterns of failure can also indicate systemic problems that require change. If we were logical beings, we would have a healthy tolerance for failure.
But we aren’t logical beings, especially when it comes to failure. Take a moment to think about your own organisation. How open are people about their own errors, misunderstandings, and misjudgements? How does your organisation treat failures and the people who fail – and what message does that send? In too many organisations, failure is criticised or concealed, both of which carry a clear message: failure is shameful.
Now let’s connect shame to burnout. Burnout often impacts work performance, which means those who burn out are likely to face failure and its consequences (including shame). And since burnout tends to play out over a timescale of months or years rather than days or weeks, performance problems and feelings of shame can also last for a long time. For some people, burnout becomes so debilitating that they have to leave jobs or careers – which can feel like an even more public (and more permanent) form of failure.
In addition, many feel ashamed of letting themselves burn out. There can be a perception that it would never have happened if they’d been smarter, more efficient, more careful etc. This is about a different kind of failure: failure to cope with life’s challenges. The more burnout erodes one’s ability to cope, the more ashamed one is likely to feel.
This is more than just a workplace issue. Most societies place a high value not just on success but on perseverance and coping. Burning out can feel like a violation of these values. The stigma around mental illness, and the perspective that equates burnout with weakness, only add to this problem.
My own burnout brought on a profound sense of shame. I felt like a failure on multiple levels — personally, professionally, and as a provider for my family. And although leaving my job took me away from many sources of chronic stress, it did little to reduce my feelings of shame.
Why Shame Matters
Shame feels bad. Very bad. It’s linked to depression, suicidal ideation, and self-harm. It’s linked to anxiety and avoidance. And because we feel ashamed of things that are socially unacceptable in some way, it’s difficult to discuss them with other people.
Shame can therefore undermine three important responses to burnout:
- Work actively towards recovery. Shame is associated with procrastination and avoidance, in part because we don’t even like thinking about the things we’re ashamed of.
- Do something about the root causes. Remember that in nearly all cases, burnout occurs due to problems in the workplace (see Read Before Burning Issue #2). If people feel ashamed, their tendency to avoid thinking about or taking action their problems means those problems are likely to persist.
- Seek help. The more shame people feel about being burned out, the less likely they are to report problems or seek help from others. They may not even feel comfortable responding honestly to well-meant enquiries.
This all means that shame can discourage early action and intervention, making it likely that burnout will worsen.
This is yet another reason why organisations need to be proactive in managing burnout.
What Can We Do About Shame?
Many websites are quick to tell people that they don’t need to feel ashamed of burning out. It’s an important message – one I have on my own website – but I have doubts about its effectiveness. If it was that easy to eliminate shame, it wouldn’t be such a problem.
There are some effective procedures that mental health professionals can use to help people overcome shame. The difficulty is that shame will prevent a lot of people from seeking that help. So what can we do?
Fortunately, there are more things we can try, especially in the workplace.
AT THE TEAM LEVEL
- Get check-in training: You should be checking in with your team regularly, but shame and fear can encourage employees to deflect check-ins. Learn some trauma-informed approaches to probing a little deeper than “Are you ok?”, especially with staff who already show some burnout symptoms (which requires understanding of those symptoms, see issue #1), or staff who face higher risks (which requires understanding of common burnout causes, see issue #2).
- This is the intention behind R U OK Day.
- Recuperation is not isolation: A burned-out employee may need a break from work (although this will not resolve the root cause of burnout). While on this break, try not to bother them with work problems, but don’t take this too far. Burnout tends to trigger self-doubt and disconnection as well as shame, feelings that could be enhanced by complete radio silence. For example, someone on leave for burnout may appreciate being invited to a social gathering – just don’t make them feel pressured to attend. It helps to discuss a preferred level of communication before they depart.
AT THE ORGANISATION LEVEL
- Plan and prepare: There’s no point checking in if a request for help will be ignored. Organisations need to plan how to respond to reports of burnout, just as they would for reports of bullying. There should be a process for respectful investigation and identifying avenues for change. If reports of burnout are taken seriously and lead to meaningful action, then in addition to helping those who make those first reports, you will help people to feel less ashamed of reporting burnout. And if people aren’t waiting until desperation overcomes shame, interventions can be earlier and more effective!
- Utilise lived experience: People with lived experience of burnout, especially those who have worked in your organisation or industry, have much to contribute to burnout prevention. They can build awareness of signs to watch for, highlight problems and issues to monitor, and discuss changes that might help. In addition, involving them helps to normalise conversations about burnout and the value of seeking help.
- Cultivate a culture of care: I’ll talk another time about cultural factors that impact burnout, but this time I’ll focus on a few associated with shame. Many people fear that if they are honest about being burned out, people will assume they are unable to perform, and their careers will be over. Others fear being told they don’t work hard enough to be burned out. Some people quit rather than face judgement from co-workers related to flexible work arrangements or other accommodations. Such fears are rarer in workplaces where staff who face difficulties are shown understanding and compassion (which needs to be modelled by senior leadership). And there’s always more we can do in the workplace and beyond to destigmatise burnout, mental illness, and neurodiversity.
- Normalise EAP usage: A common problem with Employee Assistance Programs is not that they can’t help (they can!), but that shame and stigma discourage participation. Efforts should be made to normalise the use of these services, but this must be done carefully: promoting EAPs only after traumatic incidents will reinforce beliefs that the services are only for extreme cases.
References
Fee, R. L., & Tangney, J. P. (2000). Procrastination: A means of avoiding shame or guilt? Journal of Social Behavior and Personality, 15(5), 167-184.
Ferreira, A. I. (2022). Hiding behind a mask: A multilevel perspective of burnout shame. In Burnout While Working (pp. 121-138). Routledge.
Goffnett, J., Liechty, J. M., & Kidder, E. (2020). Interventions to reduce shame: A systematic review. Journal of Behavioral and Cognitive Therapy, 30(2), 141-160.
Nummenmaa, L., & Niemi, P. (2004). Inducing affective states with success-failure manipulations: a meta-analysis. Emotion, 4, 207-214.
Robertson, J. J., & Long, B. (2019). Medicine’s shame problem. The Journal of Emergency Medicine, 57(3), 329-338.
News
I’ve finished collecting data on my burnout research project and am analysing that data. It’s yielding some novel and important findings that I hope to share here before too long!
In the meantime, I’m launching the new series of my podcast, Mind on the Job. The series features in-depth interviews with other experts on wellbeing and mental health in the workplace. The first episode, featuring an interview Curtin University’s Professor Sharon Parker, will drop on Thursday August 28.
Monthly Updates
Burnout symptom status: Moderate, but I’ve increased my recovery practices.
Secret burnout book query status: No full requests yet.
Podcast status: Launching!
Number of tradespeople currently needed to fix household problems: Four.
Spread the Word
If you found this newsletter useful, please share it!
If you haven’t already done so, sign up here to get this newsletter via email before it drops anywhere else, or click here to subscribe to the LinkedIn version.
Questions? Suggestions? Reach out to me at mindonthejob@gmail.com
Till Next Time…
Stay well until my next newsletter drops!
(c) 2025 Ben J. Searle